The risks of relying on legal advice from friends.

When you are going through a family law matter family, friends, colleagues, and even casual acquaintances may want to share with you their experience of the family law system. While it might seem like an easy way to determine how your matter may be decided, even a seemingly simple matter can have complex nuances that need to be considered before parties enter into final orders.

In this week’s article we look at the problems that can arise if you rely on advice from friends and family, rather than your lawyer.

Why not listen to others?

1.         Everyone’s experience with the family law system is different

Some people will have found their engagement in the family law process a positive and empowering experience, whereas other people find the system unfair and believe it was skewed in favour of their ex-partner.

There may be a number of reasons why someone holds a particular perception of the family law system. They may have genuinely had a challenging time, or they may have been the difficult and unreasonable party, or they may have had completely unrealistic expectations of what the system can achieve. They may also be deliberately spreading false information to garner sympathy or to paint a negative picture of their ex-partner for their own family law matter.

It is very difficult for you, as a bystander, to know what really occurred in someone’s matter which has led them to holding a particular view of the family law system. By taking on someone else’s experience of the family law system as your own, you may be approaching your matter in the wrong fashion.

2.         Everyone’s matter is different

Just like all families are different, so too are all family law matters different. Your family will have its own quirks, likes, dislikes, values and needs which will shape what you require from the family law system. If you try to use a parenting or property agreement your friend has put in place for their family, you may increase the level of conflict between you and your former partner.

While you may have the same number of children as your friends or they may be a similar age, the arrangements that are going to be suitable for your family are going to be slightly different form what works for your friends.

For example, your friend’s orders may provide for telephone calls between the parents and children to take place between 6pm and 6.30pm, but this may not work for your family because your children do afterschool activities until 6.30pm. Using your friend’s agreement would result in more conflict, as the children would not be available during the stipulated telephone time.

These distinctions are even more relevant in property matters. Not only will your property pool differ from your friends, it is impossible to use someone else’s percentages to determine what you will receive from your settlement. Your lawyer will consider your contributions, both financial and non-financial, your future needs and a range of other factors to workout what a Court is likely to determine is your entitlement to the property pool.

You or your ex-partner may have also come into the relationship with the family farm, or supported a stepchild, or had a gambling problem or purchased a property after you separated.  Each of those situations is a factor which may change your entitlement. Unless you have a good knowledge of the Family Law Act and the case law, you are unlikely to know what you are really entitled to.

3.         It may increase your legal fees

When you ask your lawyer why you are not getting the same percentage of the property pool as your friend, or why you cannot have the same children’s orders as your colleague from work, you may be inadvertently increasing your legal fees.

When these types of questions are put to us by clients, we have to explain to them why their situation differs from that of their friend and reiterate what our advice is based on your actual circumstances. It is our firm policy to put this in writing so that there are no misunderstandings.

4.         You may jeopardise your matter

If you rely on information or facts you receive from a third party, you may cause difficulties in your matter or unintentionally jeopardise the strength of your case.

For example, if you have genuine concerns about your children’s safety, but your friend has told you not to bother about getting a Court order because the Court did not give them supervised time, you may inadvertently put the children at risk by providing your former partner unsupervised time with the children.

Or your friend may tell you that you can hide money in other people’s bank accounts or transfer assets to third parties because they are sure their ex-partner did that in their matter. What your friend may not have told you is that this allegation was completely baseless and none of the financial disclosure supported their allegations. If you were to rely on this advice, you may find yourself in serious trouble with the Courts and potentially paying a cost order.

But lawyers just want my money  

We hear this touted by members of the public, from various media outlets, different organisations and service providers that deal with people in the family law system. Lawyers are often accused of being money hungry and fuelling the parties’ disagreements to increase their own fees.

There may be stories of lawyers doing the wrong thing, but this does not mean the profession as a whole should be tarnished by the actions of a few. There are strict rules around how lawyers can conduct their matters, and lawyers have duties to their clients. The conduct of NSW lawyers is overseen by the NSW Law Society and the Legal Services Commissioner.

The philosophy we have adopted at Mastronardi Legal is to help our client’s through the family law system as quickly, cheaply, and fairly as possible. We are always looking for practical and pragmatic solutions for our clients. You will often hear our lawyers reminding clients to take a commercial approach to their family law matter and not waste money fighting on principle.

How can my support network help me?

Your support network can provide an invaluable source of support and comfort through a difficult time. They can be a shoulder to cry on, someone tasked to take your mind off your family law matter for a moment or provide you practical support like driving you to an appointment, or babysitting the children when you attend an appointment or a Court event. 

It is best for you, and your matter, to seek your legal advice from a solicitor who understands family law and can provide you advice based on their knowledge and experience.

Please note: the information in this article is general in nature. For specific advice about your circumstances, contact us to make an appointment with one of our solicitors.